Chapter 27: Having Trials, Still Thankful

Its another one of those late nights and I'm working on homework that I've pushed off to the last second. On top of that my car's starter died last night so I had a quite interesting morning. I called in a tow truck, drove to the far side of town and waited 3.5hrs for my BIG bill. Yeah so I've been in a frenzy all day. I can't believe I've found time to just take a step back and make sure my body isn't overheating. Nope, I'm doing alright I guess.

Tomorrow I have a big test though and I hardly know what the test is going to be on. So tomorrow morning I'll take some time to study a bit and then I get to leave for Thanksgiving Break to home. I'm so excited because I haven't seen family for like a month. I miss my family a lot, but I still hate that old town. It looks old, smells old and I feel old when I reach the old town. I really didn't care to live there any longer then I had too, no offense to my parents, but I hated the day when they chose to move us to that crappy town. It will be nice though to see family, I get to see Gram Gram too. I love my grandma and she is such a cooky person.

I can't tell you how thankful I am to have an amazing family, a family that actually cares about me and wants the best for me in life. God has blessed me with a beautiful and loving family. I have so many things to be thankful for, but family is the most important one. I use to say,"Whenever I come home, I feel like a king. Mom and Dad make sure my time home is amazing and help me out with food or anything I need." Now its not like that, I see they didn't do it just because they missed me, but they did it because they want to let me know that they are still here for me even though I'm a grown man and moving on in life. The world isn't at its best right now, but my parents make it feel like it was when I was a kid, they make life easier.

I'm thankful for siblings too. There was times back in high school when I hated school and the people I called friends. The only true friends I had, are still my brother and sister. They are the greatest and help me everyday get over the troubles of life. My sister reminds me of a shining star, she's such a bright person and always happy. Five years ago, she told me she looked up to me because she was happy to see that I was following God and going to college, but since then I've looked up to her because she is so strong and loves God so much, she's been there with God the whole way for me, pushing me to become a better Christian. My brother is the best. When I feel alone and left out, he is always there to bug me and cheer me up, I could never ask God for a better brother. I love them both so much that I never want to disappoint them again because God and I know that I have disappointed them sometimes.

Its amazing that family will be there for you through the thick and thin. When I mess up, they forgive and love me. I've buttheads with them many times, but they have always welcomed me home when I have no where else to turn. Again God, I thank you for giving me a family that cares and I pray for everyone in the world and hope their families love them too. If they don't, God will always be your father.

Chapter 26: Back to the Hood

If I have never told, I was born in Los Angeles, CA. We actually lived in San Bernadino, which was like 10 mins from L.A. I lived in the ghettos. Today I decided to watch Boyz N the Hood, starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Ice Cube who live in the hood of L.A. It seems so real and I recall my dad telling me the time he went to the hood. My dad was a pizza delivery driver for Pizza Hut for a couple of days, before he quit. The reason he quit that job was when he went on his second delivery and he went to the ghettos to deliver the pizza. He got to this shady house and walked up to the steps. He was a skinny white boy in a black neighborhood. Some African American came to the door and took the pizza from him. My dad asked for money and the guy told him to piss off. The guy had a glock on him and my dad remembers that he looked high. My dad just walked away and quit that night.

Its crazy that every city has a hood, even the small city I live in the Midwest. I know a guy that has connections with some people in town and this just reminds me of my hometown. People always trying to be big or somethin. I just don't see why people want to get caught up in this shit. He asked if I would help him out with finding some clients or interested friends, I told him that I would let him know. People are dumb, I just want to know whats going to happen to him when he gets caught. I don't want to go into jail and do time and never have a job or family. Why screw that all up?

I sit in my room and listen to Tupac radio station on Pandora. I don't really like the lyrics, but I enjoy the 90's beats. It lets me think and relax. The lyrics are garbage and I can't believe people actually listened to this back in the day. I guess times have changed and so have people. I'm so glad I don't live in C.A. because I don't want to witness crime, I just want to keep all the good memories from living in C.A. I love that place and I know that if I go back, I wouldn't fit in. Its just been so long and I don't know the lifestyle out there no more. Lets just say if I went back, I would either fly back home or get shot running off my mouth. Life is hard on the west coast and its no place for a Minnesota Man.

Chapter 25: You Don't Know My Story

Music pouring into my ears and traveling throughout my body. I try to lose myself and keep my mind off the past and the future. My muscles ache and I can't stop thinking about the past. I tried to lend a hand and talk to people, but people really don't care. They think they know me, but its quite the opposite. There is so much to know about one person's life and its nearly impossible to know everything and impossible to feel what they have felt. Before you say, I know you, just think for a second... you don't know me.

About 2 years ago, my family suffered the passing of a relative. That relative was very close to my grandma and her kids. My grandpa was a very good friend of mine and he was a man that I could look up to because he was always happy, even towards the suffering he faced at the end of his life. I wish I was there for my family when he passed away, I felt so left out when I heard the news in my room. I admit, I balled my eyes out and tears poured out. I'm not embarrassed nor should I be. I love that man, he should me that nothing was impossible if I put my mind to it. He believed in me and really enjoyed my dreams of becoming a director. We use to watch John Wayne movies together, man I miss those times so much. He is what really got me into watching and making movies. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would be here pursuing this career and a 3D motion picture animator. I wish he was still here to see my films that I have made. Its just I wish he was still here with us. I know it was his time, but if God came here today, I would ask him I could spend one last day with him and watch The Searchers again with him one last time.

Kid Cudi has a song called Mr. Rager, in the song he talks about travelin through life and experincing new adventures. Right now I'm traveling with just God and I across the biggest adventure of all time, Life. I've learned a lot since my grandpa passed and he keeps reminding me not to give up on myself and God. If I can't trust anyone in this world, I will always be able to trust in God.

I'm creating a story called Dreamworld. Its going to be created in 3D for my final project. It tells the story of two siblings that grow farther apart after the death of their parents. They both get trapped within a book titled Dreamworld and have to face challenges throughout the movie. They must get through the book in order to fix their relationship and save each other. The film is dedicated to my grandpa and for showing that I can do anything through the help of friends and family. Grandpa I love you so much and hope you enjoy my film from high up there.

Chater 24: The New Girl

Friend puking in the toilet and in the car and still I'm still happy. I met a girl, shes just not cute, but really nice to talk to and I feel like we connected. Her name is Ashley and its not the girl that I previously had in sophomore year. This girl is different and I really was interested in listening to her. I felt connected, judge me if you want to because I may be drunk, but I met the best girl in the world. Picture this 22, short hair and very nice and cute. I wish she came over, but girl puking in the toilet. I want to talk to her more, shes a welder and she went to Joseph's Hair Design for makeup. She wants to create makeup for people, how cool is that?  I miss her short hair and deep eyes. Everything come from the heart right now, I wish she was interested in me. I needed to talk to her because for some reason this was meant to be. When I was drunk, I still was focused just on her. I wish she was here. I miss just talking about life and I was super excited that she texted me. A girl who wants a Harley motorcycle is awesome, I told her that I did some motocross back in the day and she really like that. I'm glad that we met, I'm glad I didn't chicken out. Why can't I stay with her tonight? I miss her name even though girls with the letter "A" are curses to me. Goodnight and hopefully I will see or talk to Ashley again.