Ch. 1: Dreamers of My Dream

There is so much more to life then wanting a career, but honestly God wants me to use my abilities and talents for something that is greater. I use to dream a lot. As a kid, my imagination had no bounds and seeing the world just one step at a time, stirred up my imagination. I still visualize things in my head from time to time. Mostly I visualize creating new things and imagining if I did them. I keep asking myself, if my dream is too impossible or not for God? I don't think God would give me talent to waste. I would proudly do something with my talent that is in the eyes of God, I wouldn't use it against him.

Its hard to hear that your dream is not practical. To think that dreams are fairy tales and they can never happen, saddens me. The world has lost their own imagination. Our country was built on people with new ideas and seeing how they could change the world. My grandpa today dropped off a letter for me, inside was $500 and a message that said this, "We are so proud of you and we know you will impact the world someday with your great talent and imagination." I thanked him privately. Grandpa told me he was very impressed with what I've done with my talent, he can't wait to see me achieve my dream. It feels good to know that others believe in me too.

God should be the one who receives all praise. I say this now, but I know I will be tempted. Hollywood stars take all the glory and never give it back to the one who gave them their talent. How are they glorifying God everyday? Do they take all the praise? I hope I don't fall into the state of pride. I'm only here because God loves me and wanted me to love him back. He should be the reason why I live and he should be the reason why you live too. Otherwise we've wasted our talents.

 God is the dreamer of my dreams and those dreams will come real someday. Just have to hold on and have faith. God always comes around.

The 2nd Chapter: Intermission

It feels weird being back in the town that I despised as a young high school senior. I was so glad to leave this town, but its weird how I've ended up here again. I don't know how to interact in this environment, my mind and heart is still lost in Fargo. Its not like Fargo was an amazing city, but the speed and the non stop pace was nice. New Ulm is such a still town, quiet like its 5,000 elderly population.

I wake up in the morning, there is milk, bananas, and bread. Even leftovers in the fridge for my lunch. Everything feels given to me and I would rather be on my own. After graduation aren't you suppose to feel like you've achieved something? I feel stuck, knowledge I thought I had isn't there. I feel like I'm almost at step 1 of 1000. Life has hit the wall that won't budge, im trapped in a town I dislike.

The job has come and is to start soon, which will be nice. Hopefully it picks up the pace of this summer before us. All I have to remember is that this part of my life is going to be a low point. I have so much to look forward to. The first chapter of each new beginning in one person's life starts slow and eventually picks up. I just need to find my spot in life.

Chapter 42: A Town to Forget

Its like this, you go to a town to start off fresh, but years past and you become old news. I have to leave this town, everyone knows me too well. Oh I don't mean too well like they actually know me, but everyone has there thoughts about me; opinions, I hate them.

I just need to get out fast. So glad the year is almost done and graduation is around the corner, but hell I'm going home? I don't know what to think of that. I get to hangout with bro who is seeing a girl and my sister who doesn't stop talking about her LOTR boyfriend. I'm stuck in the middle, but I'm the oldest. Worst place to be right now in your life. Depression, exhaustion and stressed. Formula for a burnout.

Oh after I get done with graduation, I get to go to a cabin with my family. It better be fun, thats all I got to say.