Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Chapter 42: A Town to Forget

Its like this, you go to a town to start off fresh, but years past and you become old news. I have to leave this town, everyone knows me too well. Oh I don't mean too well like they actually know me, but everyone has there thoughts about me; opinions, I hate them.

I just need to get out fast. So glad the year is almost done and graduation is around the corner, but hell I'm going home? I don't know what to think of that. I get to hangout with bro who is seeing a girl and my sister who doesn't stop talking about her LOTR boyfriend. I'm stuck in the middle, but I'm the oldest. Worst place to be right now in your life. Depression, exhaustion and stressed. Formula for a burnout.

Oh after I get done with graduation, I get to go to a cabin with my family. It better be fun, thats all I got to say.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Chapter 41: Today Won't Be Tomorrow

You have the one good night, you feel untouchable, you feel above the world for the moment and you want it to last for an eternity. This moment gives you wings and fears turn to flight. You soar above anything that tries to bring you down to the ground. You are struck though, with a bullet of ending.

Time to move on, friends are moving along as well. You sit at the bar with your best friend and he begins to let you know how much the last couple of years have meant to him, you feel the same way. I almost wish that I could relive junior year, but its too perfect to touch. It needs to be left as is, perfect and memorable. Water drops crawl in his eyes and he knows this may be the last year we have. Four more weeks and we will be far apart, the distance that will separate us. I promise him, I will never forget these past years and we will always have a great friendship, but I know as time will go on, we will become memories.

Today was a good day, but tomorrow will be the day I remember yesterday. A memory that will stay pure and preserved forever.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Chapter 40: Slow Moving, Good Sign

We all expect to have the perfect life. Sure we have our own views at what a perfect life is, but we all have that dream of a life. Do you want that perfect job? Or that wife with the three little rascals? We take action everyday to further our dream, we got this big fishing net ready to catch that fish at any moment. On the edge of our seats waiting for that moment. Always aware and ready, but its all talk until you do something.

Are you satisfied with your life? Never think you can just switch it up and chase someone else's dream life. We are all meant to do something great thats for sure. Have you found what you suppose to do with your life? Some people are just given that high school dream heart that they are with for the rest of their life and some are happy, others not so much. The difference? People rush things and chase. When you chase, your desires is what it is, desires, wants not needs. Wouldn't you rather be happy your whole life instead of being happy just for the moment?

You probably expect me to be happy with my life since I'm talking on this subject, but thats not the case. I look at my life and write to reflect through questions and experiences I encounter on a unknown journey. Would you want everything to be laid down in front of you and given everything you want? Surprise gets killed by anxious thoughts and wants. I was asked, do you know what you want? Do you know yourself enough to get to know someone else? I told her yes, I know who I am. I thought it was a stupid question, but now I reflect on it. I am a guy who wants a family? I want kids? I want to become a legend?

Are these my actual goals? Or did they simply get slipped in by everyone else that I have connection with? Seriously I can't support a family off a student salary. Someday I will be able to support a family and love them and go to my son\daughter's sporting events. I look forward and dream about that day, but I don't need to act on it now. Whats the rush?

Slow is patient, fast is now. Graduation coming up scares me, it does and its coming up way too fast. I stress out, but this is what I need. I need to get my stuff together and I don't have time for the wants right now (gf, games, drinking). Slow and steady wins the race and that race shouldn't stop till your time. I think sometimes God hates me. Fact is, hes protecting me. He hasn't thrown me under the bus or into a situation I can't handle with his help. Sometimes taking it slow with every aspect of life is what we all need to just do.