Chapter 38: Taking Pain so You Don't

I see you every day at school, we are young but I know I love you. Every time I talk to you my heart beats fast my mouth goes dry my heart aches for you. It hurts to love you so much. I wish you knew. I’m to afraid to tell you how i feel. – Libby Hinrichs

This is how I feel. I can't seem to get it across and I've never been in a relationship that has last more then a season's change. Snowfall is more common then I remember and I still only can think of you. You ask why I love? Its because I care, I care too much and I care more because you don't understand. I'm the nicest guy you will know and you choose to remind yourself of all the guys that have treated you wrong. I'm that hero in the night that will watch over and do what I can to save you from the enemy. A sad song plays and repeats, I listen to it because it reminds me of the one person I could not save. I hear the echo of tears and know those who cried for the man I called my inspiration and friend. He watched me when I played with legos and saw me when I graduated at my high school. He has been there with me everyday and he is still watching over me as I live. Live the word meaning so many things, but know one can truly understand what they mean to me. The experiences and feelings that go along with witnessing tragedy and happiness, only means so much to me. No one will know what makes me smile because they don't care about the man that is so much like a brother they never had. I'm too nice they said, so I changed and now I'm the bad guy. I can take on all the hatred or damaging words they may throw. I'm a mirror that has been shattered and put back together to become shattered again. I will be whatever you need me to be at the time because I care too much.