I've been quite the busy bee this week. I tell you, my organization has made me work day and night over funding and location. Yes we got both! It was an amazing week and the members are super pumped for all the new events that will happen.
So I went to the funding meeting with my vice president and event planner. We walk in and I give them a speech on the group and what we are all about. The event planner goes into detail about e sports and my vice president gives his experience with e sports and competitive gaming. We get a lot of people nodding their heads and questions come at us from all sides of the tables. I try to answer them and tell them this group would be really beneficial if we got funding. They hand over $350 to the group and tell us to show up to the Student Senate Meeting on Thursday to hear from them about getting a room. We got more pumped about the room situation then getting the funding for the group. We didn't know what to expect on Thursday.
I go to the meeting last Thursday, alone. I wait patiently for 1 hr to give me speech on getting some space on campus. I talk to them and tell them what they need to know. They bring up that we could move into their office space on Fridays and Saturdays. I get excited, but the room needs to vote on it. So I go back and sit and they write up a form. 1 hr later they come back to the subject on the room and the group votes in favor of giving the League of Roc space in Student Senate. There were only 4 people voted against it. I was excited to spill the news to the members the next day during the meeting.
The meeting went well. 8 people showed up including I and we talked about funding, location, and events. We will soon have a big tournament/event on Nov 4th. We hope we can host it in the ballroom on campus and make it a super huge event. We also found some people who are willing to support us in prizes and maybe even sponsor the event. They members are great and we spent the whole day in the room. We played lots of league of legends today and just kicked back. We had a good turnout and I hope we have more fun weekends like this one. The League of Roc is here to stay and hopefully become one of the greatest organizations on campus.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Chapter 6: Movie Star
Have you ever wanted to be apart of a movie? I know I have since I was 10 years old, I wanted to act, direct and even produce movies. It all started with my cousins, my brother and I. It was Christmas time and one of my cousins came to visit the rest of the family from California. We hadn't seen him for 2 years and we decided we do something different. My dad got a new Panasonic video camera which still ran on dv cassettes. All of us decided to make a trilogy based on Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. It was a hit and I remember having the greatest time with my family that day. Days like those you wish you could hold onto forever, but like always time pasts.
Recently the memories have come back to me. I've decided to throw myself out there for acting and I'm in the acting archive at school. Its been years since I've acted for plays and musicals, but I said why not I'll give it a try. Last week I was contacted by a student director to do a remake on movie called Swingers. I went to an audition and did my best. Two day later I got a e-mail saying I got the part of Rob and I was super pumped. Today I received another call from another director wanting me to act in one of his movies. It should be quite fun and he's going to drop off the script today when I work.
I've always wanted to be apart of films, maybe thats why I recently gave acting a chance. I just want to read my name up in the credits someday. Wouldn't that be so cool? Head Coordinator of Visual Effects ... Jordan Stark. Woot thats me! I would also like to direct a script that I have written. I think to its better if your heart is something you want to create, then doing it for just money and fame. Sure I would like the benefits, but its not all about that. Sometimes its about being proud of the work you have done and how much time it takes to do something like that. I want to be a director. I told my parents that like over a thousand times and all they would say was, "Jordan remember this is your future. Who just decides one day they want to be a director?" Thats why in high school, I didn't really focus on having a lot of friends. I put so much time in writing screenplays for movies in class and drawing up storyboards at lunch. I dedicated my life at an early age to idea of making motion pictures and creating test films with my camera.
Heck I even got a green screen for Christmas once. My parents knew how much it would mean to me. I made school commercials of students flying and lego stop motion animations. My Beowulf lego film is still shown in Mrs. Fairburn's English class. I made teachers proud and excited for me. I was known to my classmates as Jordan Stark, but to the world of video I was Starkarts Productions. This name has been in my family since day one with my cousins and it will never be changed to anything else.
So as I press on into my future in Graphic Communications and Film Production, I want to remember all the people who got me here, who believed in me when others did not. I want to thank my brother and sister for being the actors and actresses when I had no other people that wanted to. I want to thank my parents for believing in me after seeing what I could create with my hands. Last but not least I want to thank my entire family and God, for making me into a Star, well a future star.
Recently the memories have come back to me. I've decided to throw myself out there for acting and I'm in the acting archive at school. Its been years since I've acted for plays and musicals, but I said why not I'll give it a try. Last week I was contacted by a student director to do a remake on movie called Swingers. I went to an audition and did my best. Two day later I got a e-mail saying I got the part of Rob and I was super pumped. Today I received another call from another director wanting me to act in one of his movies. It should be quite fun and he's going to drop off the script today when I work.
I've always wanted to be apart of films, maybe thats why I recently gave acting a chance. I just want to read my name up in the credits someday. Wouldn't that be so cool? Head Coordinator of Visual Effects ... Jordan Stark. Woot thats me! I would also like to direct a script that I have written. I think to its better if your heart is something you want to create, then doing it for just money and fame. Sure I would like the benefits, but its not all about that. Sometimes its about being proud of the work you have done and how much time it takes to do something like that. I want to be a director. I told my parents that like over a thousand times and all they would say was, "Jordan remember this is your future. Who just decides one day they want to be a director?" Thats why in high school, I didn't really focus on having a lot of friends. I put so much time in writing screenplays for movies in class and drawing up storyboards at lunch. I dedicated my life at an early age to idea of making motion pictures and creating test films with my camera.
Heck I even got a green screen for Christmas once. My parents knew how much it would mean to me. I made school commercials of students flying and lego stop motion animations. My Beowulf lego film is still shown in Mrs. Fairburn's English class. I made teachers proud and excited for me. I was known to my classmates as Jordan Stark, but to the world of video I was Starkarts Productions. This name has been in my family since day one with my cousins and it will never be changed to anything else.
So as I press on into my future in Graphic Communications and Film Production, I want to remember all the people who got me here, who believed in me when others did not. I want to thank my brother and sister for being the actors and actresses when I had no other people that wanted to. I want to thank my parents for believing in me after seeing what I could create with my hands. Last but not least I want to thank my entire family and God, for making me into a Star, well a future star.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Chapter 5: Human Extinction
Ok so I discovered this great tv show, its called The Walking Dead. Just stumbled upon it on Netflix and I found out there already on season 2. So this show focuses on group of people who try to live out a zombie apocalypse . They go through different trials and come a cross situations that sometimes jeopardizes the group. The screenplay for this tv show is absolutely fantastic! Like if I were in one of the character's shoes, I would be acting the same way they are, scared at all times and wanting to just slug a freakin zombie to pieces. I asked myself, "What would I do in a zombie apocalypse?" I can't really answer that, its just kinda depressing to think about it in the first place.
The tv show is great and extinction of human beings is pretty interesting and different from any other tv show now days. I'm glad that I still can live in a world that is living and not dead. I'm glad I can walk down the street without the fear of running into a walker (another name for zombie) and getting eating to death. I don't think it would be that fun being a zombie slayer.
Since we are on the subject of slaying, tomorrow I have a meeting with the financial committee that deals with my organization's funding. I better not get cut apart during this meeting otherwise I my just have to pull out my shotty and blow them all away. Lol watching too much tv, get back to real life. Sorry about that imagination took over, no I won't be violent during the meeting, but we better get all the money I ask for. I'm also bringing up the idea of getting a room or building on camp grounds. I wonder how that is going to go? I can just see their faces when I ask them for a room, they will look at each other and then look at me with a serious stare and say, "All we are giving you today is the money. You should be happy you even got that." My organization, the League of Roc is on its second year and we are trying to get this organization under way with funding and a location. Its October 17th and we are finally hearing back from the school for funding. Wonder if we are going to get a check or a big document that I will have to fill out and do a bunch of crap before I can even spend the money, hmm check please!
Recently its been all about the money. I've spent tons of it lately on suits, glasses, restaurants and girls. Why did it have to be girls? They sometimes just suck the money out of you like rain falling down on the driest desert. I'm not broke, well not yet *knock on wood*. I need to find a way to make money and do it fast and efficient. None of theses fill out a survey and receive $100 weekly. Which is not legal by the way. I want to either invent something, come up with a new idea, or play black jack. By the way I'm defiantly playing black jack in my suit next weekend. Its gonna be sick unless I play dumb and lose everything. Did you know that you have a 60% chance at winning a hand of black jack? Casinos actually lose money while they offer black jack. If you play your cards right and everyone at the table is smart, most of the time you win, but you usually get one dumb and stupid player that screws everyone over at the table. The rules on making money, hmm wish I would have paid attention in Economics class.
See its all about surviving and making it big. If you don't smoke that zombie in the face, you will get bit and die! Its that simple. You don't take the opportunity at hand, you will not get another one for awhile or ever again. See I recently went to an audition to play this character in a movie who comforts his friend who is suffering from a break up. I show I'm willing, dedicated and reliable and I get the part. I take my chance and I seize my opportunity. Bam! I ace it! Now I'm starring in a movie, piece of cake, right? But first you gotta make an attempt otherwise you will never know what could have been.
There is always some reason when you get offered a chance to do something. All you can do is survive and take your shot at success. For me its time to grab every chance I get and hopefully I land it big. Its hard finding the street that is paved in gold, you've gotta want it bad to find that street. You can get anything you want in life, all you need to do is chase after it with intentions of achieving it. If you don't believe you can survive, you won't. You will just end up like that dude in the tv show who screams like a girl and doesn't watch his step and trips. The camera zooms into his terrified face and he gets jumped by 5 flesh eating zombies. The world will eat you alive if you don't go through life with confidence and determination to win!
The tv show is great and extinction of human beings is pretty interesting and different from any other tv show now days. I'm glad that I still can live in a world that is living and not dead. I'm glad I can walk down the street without the fear of running into a walker (another name for zombie) and getting eating to death. I don't think it would be that fun being a zombie slayer.
Since we are on the subject of slaying, tomorrow I have a meeting with the financial committee that deals with my organization's funding. I better not get cut apart during this meeting otherwise I my just have to pull out my shotty and blow them all away. Lol watching too much tv, get back to real life. Sorry about that imagination took over, no I won't be violent during the meeting, but we better get all the money I ask for. I'm also bringing up the idea of getting a room or building on camp grounds. I wonder how that is going to go? I can just see their faces when I ask them for a room, they will look at each other and then look at me with a serious stare and say, "All we are giving you today is the money. You should be happy you even got that." My organization, the League of Roc is on its second year and we are trying to get this organization under way with funding and a location. Its October 17th and we are finally hearing back from the school for funding. Wonder if we are going to get a check or a big document that I will have to fill out and do a bunch of crap before I can even spend the money, hmm check please!
Recently its been all about the money. I've spent tons of it lately on suits, glasses, restaurants and girls. Why did it have to be girls? They sometimes just suck the money out of you like rain falling down on the driest desert. I'm not broke, well not yet *knock on wood*. I need to find a way to make money and do it fast and efficient. None of theses fill out a survey and receive $100 weekly. Which is not legal by the way. I want to either invent something, come up with a new idea, or play black jack. By the way I'm defiantly playing black jack in my suit next weekend. Its gonna be sick unless I play dumb and lose everything. Did you know that you have a 60% chance at winning a hand of black jack? Casinos actually lose money while they offer black jack. If you play your cards right and everyone at the table is smart, most of the time you win, but you usually get one dumb and stupid player that screws everyone over at the table. The rules on making money, hmm wish I would have paid attention in Economics class.
See its all about surviving and making it big. If you don't smoke that zombie in the face, you will get bit and die! Its that simple. You don't take the opportunity at hand, you will not get another one for awhile or ever again. See I recently went to an audition to play this character in a movie who comforts his friend who is suffering from a break up. I show I'm willing, dedicated and reliable and I get the part. I take my chance and I seize my opportunity. Bam! I ace it! Now I'm starring in a movie, piece of cake, right? But first you gotta make an attempt otherwise you will never know what could have been.
There is always some reason when you get offered a chance to do something. All you can do is survive and take your shot at success. For me its time to grab every chance I get and hopefully I land it big. Its hard finding the street that is paved in gold, you've gotta want it bad to find that street. You can get anything you want in life, all you need to do is chase after it with intentions of achieving it. If you don't believe you can survive, you won't. You will just end up like that dude in the tv show who screams like a girl and doesn't watch his step and trips. The camera zooms into his terrified face and he gets jumped by 5 flesh eating zombies. The world will eat you alive if you don't go through life with confidence and determination to win!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Chapter 4: Why be Normal?
What to buy with 100 dollars? Hmm my parents were generous this year. Last year I got a t-shirt maybe? I don't remember, but what to do with 100 dollars? I know what I'll get, I'll get a suit! Recently I've been doing things that a normal person wouldn't do like buying a suit and getting a sexy hair cut. Yes I know, I said sexy whipdee doo. I had to get my mind off my recent let downs in life. Today, my roommate and I drove to Fargo to get me fitted for a suit and I must say I do feel like a "Boss".
We arrive at Halbertsons and the place is very nice and professional looking. The employees are all wearing like 300 to 750 dollar suits. They all have the nice, clean cut shave and haircut and the biggest smile ever. Dang it, I forgot who helped me pick out my suit today, I will refer to him as the "Bigshot" for now. Oh so the suit, let me tell you about it. It costed me 200 dollars and its very high quality, I'm picking it up tomorrow from Bigshot. It's made of 100% cotton and its black with a special type of pinstripe. I believe Bigshot called it "Engraved Pinstripe?" I'm not totally sure on that, but it looks amazing. I got it fitted to my body, which is going to look great in this suit. I also got a nice gray dress shirt, a black leather belt and a maroon diamond tie. Bigshot was nice, but I have a feeling he was nice to me because I was spending money at the store, but he was cool and if Bigshot ever wants to party up at the Hub, I'm down with that. Hes a balla, haha ok so tomorrow at 12:30pm I'm picking up the suit. The total was a bit more than I wanted to pay, but hey, if you wanna look good and invest in yourself, you gotta spend money. I've been saving up for awhile and my parents said, "Have some fun with your present," when they gave me the check for one-hundo in the mail for my birthday.
I can't wait to try it all on and show up to places like a "Boss". I don't like to be normal, I'm trying to stay away from being normal because normal hasn't worked for me lately and I gotta live and try new things. I've been cutting on video game usage and it feels great. Who would have thought that cutting back on video games could actually make you do your homework on time? I just smile now thinking about it. Who really wants to be normal? Not me. Not I, not Mr.Stark, not the "Boss". I want to venture off into the world like a explorer. Come across new ideas, events, people and places. I want to see the world and experience different parts of life.
Why a suit? It makes me feel powerful and strong. I feel when people look at me they think I'm intimidating and interesting. They want to know who is behind the aviators and dark suit. Who is that man? Maybe I'm getting a little head of myself, but seriously when I go some place I want to be noticed and turn heads. My mind is living a fantasy and that fantasy is Tony Stark. My name is Jordan Stark and just the other day, a waitress called me Mr.Stark and another waitress joked around with me because I'm quite the character I guess.
I've been givin opportunities and now I need to blow everything out of proportion. I might become a famous actor, I was told by the director today during auditions that I have a great acting experience and a good chance of getting a main part in the film. Sure I was excited, but I thanked him like a gentleman and man with an image and walked out like it was no big dealyo. He said he will e-mail me back if I got a part on Monday.
I like getting involved with people's everyday life. I wonder if it's even possible to know everyone in the world or how about in my city. Taking a nice stroll downtown and thinking about how many people I will look at in my life time and I think it will reach over millions. There are a lot of people in the world and almost everyone lives a normal life. Not me though, I want to be far from normal. Life is already normal and I don't need to blend in everyone's everyday life.
Shooting some billiards with a kid that stops by my work every time I work. I swear every time I'm working, he has to drop by and play pool. Today he asked me if I would join him and usually I say no, but today I'll switch it up. The kid is stoned and drunk, I could smell the booze rising off his clothes. It was defiantly noticeable. We talk for a bit and he tells me about his life and how hard it has been lately. We get on the discussion of my old crush and he finds out that it will never work out between her and I. He says he feels bad, but hell he didn't know anything about the two of us.
He gave me a new nickname. I have plenty of nicknames already, Iron Man, J.Stark, Mr.Stark, Starky, Starsky, Red Giant, it goes on and on, but yeah he gave me a new nickname. "Dude for now on you will be called the Kid," he says and I sink the 8 ball into a pocket and win. The Kid, I like that. Even though everyday I'm physically getting older, that won't stop this Kid inside of me from discovering the world and achieving some goals in life.
We arrive at Halbertsons and the place is very nice and professional looking. The employees are all wearing like 300 to 750 dollar suits. They all have the nice, clean cut shave and haircut and the biggest smile ever. Dang it, I forgot who helped me pick out my suit today, I will refer to him as the "Bigshot" for now. Oh so the suit, let me tell you about it. It costed me 200 dollars and its very high quality, I'm picking it up tomorrow from Bigshot. It's made of 100% cotton and its black with a special type of pinstripe. I believe Bigshot called it "Engraved Pinstripe?" I'm not totally sure on that, but it looks amazing. I got it fitted to my body, which is going to look great in this suit. I also got a nice gray dress shirt, a black leather belt and a maroon diamond tie. Bigshot was nice, but I have a feeling he was nice to me because I was spending money at the store, but he was cool and if Bigshot ever wants to party up at the Hub, I'm down with that. Hes a balla, haha ok so tomorrow at 12:30pm I'm picking up the suit. The total was a bit more than I wanted to pay, but hey, if you wanna look good and invest in yourself, you gotta spend money. I've been saving up for awhile and my parents said, "Have some fun with your present," when they gave me the check for one-hundo in the mail for my birthday.
I can't wait to try it all on and show up to places like a "Boss". I don't like to be normal, I'm trying to stay away from being normal because normal hasn't worked for me lately and I gotta live and try new things. I've been cutting on video game usage and it feels great. Who would have thought that cutting back on video games could actually make you do your homework on time? I just smile now thinking about it. Who really wants to be normal? Not me. Not I, not Mr.Stark, not the "Boss". I want to venture off into the world like a explorer. Come across new ideas, events, people and places. I want to see the world and experience different parts of life.
Why a suit? It makes me feel powerful and strong. I feel when people look at me they think I'm intimidating and interesting. They want to know who is behind the aviators and dark suit. Who is that man? Maybe I'm getting a little head of myself, but seriously when I go some place I want to be noticed and turn heads. My mind is living a fantasy and that fantasy is Tony Stark. My name is Jordan Stark and just the other day, a waitress called me Mr.Stark and another waitress joked around with me because I'm quite the character I guess.
I've been givin opportunities and now I need to blow everything out of proportion. I might become a famous actor, I was told by the director today during auditions that I have a great acting experience and a good chance of getting a main part in the film. Sure I was excited, but I thanked him like a gentleman and man with an image and walked out like it was no big dealyo. He said he will e-mail me back if I got a part on Monday.
I like getting involved with people's everyday life. I wonder if it's even possible to know everyone in the world or how about in my city. Taking a nice stroll downtown and thinking about how many people I will look at in my life time and I think it will reach over millions. There are a lot of people in the world and almost everyone lives a normal life. Not me though, I want to be far from normal. Life is already normal and I don't need to blend in everyone's everyday life.
Shooting some billiards with a kid that stops by my work every time I work. I swear every time I'm working, he has to drop by and play pool. Today he asked me if I would join him and usually I say no, but today I'll switch it up. The kid is stoned and drunk, I could smell the booze rising off his clothes. It was defiantly noticeable. We talk for a bit and he tells me about his life and how hard it has been lately. We get on the discussion of my old crush and he finds out that it will never work out between her and I. He says he feels bad, but hell he didn't know anything about the two of us.
He gave me a new nickname. I have plenty of nicknames already, Iron Man, J.Stark, Mr.Stark, Starky, Starsky, Red Giant, it goes on and on, but yeah he gave me a new nickname. "Dude for now on you will be called the Kid," he says and I sink the 8 ball into a pocket and win. The Kid, I like that. Even though everyday I'm physically getting older, that won't stop this Kid inside of me from discovering the world and achieving some goals in life.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Chapter 3: Faith in Believing
Defiantly the hardest week ever. My roommate and I get back from eating some chicken wings and having a good time goofing around. We get to our dorm around 12:30am and I bump into my RA. He wants me to go to Hornbauchers with him to get some food. I'm really not that hungry and feel a little sick, but I go with him anyways to keep him company and talk to him about my drama recently. At the grocery store, he buys some junk food and we leave into the cold night. As we walk back, he questions me about my faith in God. He asks, "So what has God recently done for you that has made you happy?" I told him God has givin me good friends that care about me and family that loves me. I told him I couldn't do well in school without God's help. He thinks is total bull. My friend is an atheist, but he labels himself that because he doesn't believe in anything. He tells me of his past christian life and says that God didn't make him happy, he says he made himself happy. He says he has done everything for himself and that God had no part of it.
I told him I didn't have all the answers and that my life wasn't perfect either. I told him in God I can do all things. God gives me the power and purpose to live each day and be an example of a Christian. He gets mad and we decide to stop talking about it before someone says something that will piss off the other person. I told him this wasn't an argument, but a mature discussion. He leaves me in the dorm hallway and goes back to playing video games.
I'm online chatting with friends. I'm talking to a good friend that went to camp with me this summer and we catch up a bit. He is worried about me and doesn't recall the last time he has saw me at Cru. I told him I wanted to talk in person because I don't like typing a serious discussion. So we meet up at his dorm that is across campus and we go to his room to talk. This friend is also and RA and is very close friend of mine, he's like a brother to me. We get talking about our lives and what has recently been happening in them. I tell him about the girl that I liked and how I found out that I was being used. He tells me about his fun weekend retreat that he went to last weekend and this girl that wanted to be his gf. He told her no because the reason why he was at the retreat was for God and not to get into a relationship. He told her that he still wanted to be friends, I don't know if that worked out though.
I like talking to this friend. He understands my beliefs because we both believe in God and we have lots in common. I tell him that I miss summer camp and kind of want to go back. He tells me that he always thinks about camp and can't wait to return next summer. I tell him I'm not 100% about going back, but its defiantly an option. I've been walking with God for awhile now and recently I have left the support of my Christian friends. School, work, and relationships have been getting in the way of spending valuable time with my Christian friends and I miss them a lot. He is going to help me get back on track and get me going back to Cru Thursday nights at 8pm. I can't wait and will be looking forward to it.
Its hard to get people to believe in something you believe. Sometimes its impossible for you to do so and the person must choose to do it themselves. Its hard to think that God just watches people going through life making mistake after mistake. I think God lets us know that we need to turn to him, but most of us push him aside and do what we want to do in the moment. Usually we hurt afterwards and then we come crawling back to him. I'm just glad I believe in a God that forgives, loves, and cares for me. People may try to put me down, but that only builds me up in my faith in Jesus Christ, my God.
I told him I didn't have all the answers and that my life wasn't perfect either. I told him in God I can do all things. God gives me the power and purpose to live each day and be an example of a Christian. He gets mad and we decide to stop talking about it before someone says something that will piss off the other person. I told him this wasn't an argument, but a mature discussion. He leaves me in the dorm hallway and goes back to playing video games.
I'm online chatting with friends. I'm talking to a good friend that went to camp with me this summer and we catch up a bit. He is worried about me and doesn't recall the last time he has saw me at Cru. I told him I wanted to talk in person because I don't like typing a serious discussion. So we meet up at his dorm that is across campus and we go to his room to talk. This friend is also and RA and is very close friend of mine, he's like a brother to me. We get talking about our lives and what has recently been happening in them. I tell him about the girl that I liked and how I found out that I was being used. He tells me about his fun weekend retreat that he went to last weekend and this girl that wanted to be his gf. He told her no because the reason why he was at the retreat was for God and not to get into a relationship. He told her that he still wanted to be friends, I don't know if that worked out though.
I like talking to this friend. He understands my beliefs because we both believe in God and we have lots in common. I tell him that I miss summer camp and kind of want to go back. He tells me that he always thinks about camp and can't wait to return next summer. I tell him I'm not 100% about going back, but its defiantly an option. I've been walking with God for awhile now and recently I have left the support of my Christian friends. School, work, and relationships have been getting in the way of spending valuable time with my Christian friends and I miss them a lot. He is going to help me get back on track and get me going back to Cru Thursday nights at 8pm. I can't wait and will be looking forward to it.
Its hard to get people to believe in something you believe. Sometimes its impossible for you to do so and the person must choose to do it themselves. Its hard to think that God just watches people going through life making mistake after mistake. I think God lets us know that we need to turn to him, but most of us push him aside and do what we want to do in the moment. Usually we hurt afterwards and then we come crawling back to him. I'm just glad I believe in a God that forgives, loves, and cares for me. People may try to put me down, but that only builds me up in my faith in Jesus Christ, my God.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Chapter 2: Moving On
So the week has had its ups and downs, but the downs have defiantly conquered my ups. The flag has been planted and life's negativities have claimed it for the week. It wouldn't be all that bad, but today I'm not looking forward to having a meeting with my work place. The douche bag who stepped in and stole my girl, works at the same place I do. Could this day get any worst? My boss called me up and told me if there was going to be a problem between the two of us. I said I'll be fine as long as he doesn't say something like this, "Well I think Jordan can cover your shift, he has a lot a free time now." Stupid-ass remark would probably bring out the hulk in me and I wouldn't even care if I smashed his face in with my fist. It probably would make my week.
Moving on is the hardest part. My friends made me come to realize that maybe she wasn't the right girl for me in the first place. They think I deserve much better. They also said that if I continue to go after this girl, it would only feed the douce's ego and pleasure seeing me fall more. I told them that life isn't fair and they agreed, but they told me that maybe it was for the best. They told me that she wasn't my type and that I should get over her. One of my friends even sold me some aviators that I was looking to buy for a cheaper price. He bought them for $50 and was willing to sell them to me for $30 if I would agree to stop thinking about her. My friend said I couldn't take her back if I were to accept the aviators. I took the aviators and like them so much. They cover my eyes that are still pissed and frustrated. I still think about her though.
You always say you have moved on, but you actually never do. It maybe years before you forget about what happened and still the scar will still be there to remind you of what was and what could have been. To get my mind partially off of the situation I've been givin some opportunities this week, like buying my discounted aviators. I've also been e-mailed to star in a short film. The director is redirecting a scene from the movie "Swingers", starring Jon Faverue and Vince Vaughn. I'm really excited and have an audition tomorrow at 1:00pm. I hope my crushed feelings show through this romantic/comedy movie. It should be fun experience. Tonight is also pr0 night! I've mentioned in my blog that pr0 Thursdays is a day were some of my friends and I go out to eat and relax from our week of stress. We usually go to a place called Thai Orchid, but we might look around for another restaurant to eat at since we don't want to get tired of eating the same food each week. I have a lot of de stressing to do.
I hope I can get past this week and move on, but the memories I feel will make this week the hardest and maybe the next week after this one too. You don't know how it feels to find out that you were nothing to them at all, but just a friend. I feel used and I'm confused and distraught. I feel the emptiness inside of me and my heart was like warm summer sand at the beach. She put her face against mine and the moment lasted forever and it still does today. She picked up a shovel though and dug a whole in me and left. I rot and slowly patch this heart of mine.
I don't feel like going after another girl for awhile. I miss the smell of the shampoo that she uses in her hair and her white, beautiful smile. I gotta let her go. Otherwise I'll be like a city in an earthquake. I will crash and burn. A city takes years to build up. I can't let this unfortunate experience to tear me down. I must move on and find something to do other than worry about her. Time to do something different, unique, and out of the ordinary. It's time to live up life before it blows away like dust in the wind.
Moving on is the hardest part. My friends made me come to realize that maybe she wasn't the right girl for me in the first place. They think I deserve much better. They also said that if I continue to go after this girl, it would only feed the douce's ego and pleasure seeing me fall more. I told them that life isn't fair and they agreed, but they told me that maybe it was for the best. They told me that she wasn't my type and that I should get over her. One of my friends even sold me some aviators that I was looking to buy for a cheaper price. He bought them for $50 and was willing to sell them to me for $30 if I would agree to stop thinking about her. My friend said I couldn't take her back if I were to accept the aviators. I took the aviators and like them so much. They cover my eyes that are still pissed and frustrated. I still think about her though.
You always say you have moved on, but you actually never do. It maybe years before you forget about what happened and still the scar will still be there to remind you of what was and what could have been. To get my mind partially off of the situation I've been givin some opportunities this week, like buying my discounted aviators. I've also been e-mailed to star in a short film. The director is redirecting a scene from the movie "Swingers", starring Jon Faverue and Vince Vaughn. I'm really excited and have an audition tomorrow at 1:00pm. I hope my crushed feelings show through this romantic/comedy movie. It should be fun experience. Tonight is also pr0 night! I've mentioned in my blog that pr0 Thursdays is a day were some of my friends and I go out to eat and relax from our week of stress. We usually go to a place called Thai Orchid, but we might look around for another restaurant to eat at since we don't want to get tired of eating the same food each week. I have a lot of de stressing to do.
I hope I can get past this week and move on, but the memories I feel will make this week the hardest and maybe the next week after this one too. You don't know how it feels to find out that you were nothing to them at all, but just a friend. I feel used and I'm confused and distraught. I feel the emptiness inside of me and my heart was like warm summer sand at the beach. She put her face against mine and the moment lasted forever and it still does today. She picked up a shovel though and dug a whole in me and left. I rot and slowly patch this heart of mine.
I don't feel like going after another girl for awhile. I miss the smell of the shampoo that she uses in her hair and her white, beautiful smile. I gotta let her go. Otherwise I'll be like a city in an earthquake. I will crash and burn. A city takes years to build up. I can't let this unfortunate experience to tear me down. I must move on and find something to do other than worry about her. Time to do something different, unique, and out of the ordinary. It's time to live up life before it blows away like dust in the wind.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Chapter 1: Broken Inside
Nothing is worst then a broken feet, a broken heart, and a broken mind. I feel like running away from the pain and reality, but my feet are tired and worn out. You have a crush on someone and begin to like everything about them just to find out you didn't know anything about them in first place. New information slams against your brain and all you want to do is scream and punch the wall, but for what? Your knuckles will be broken too and join the rest of your body that is broken and laying in a corner, waiting to be mended back together. The time it takes to fix oneself could take days, weeks, and even months depending on far you dig into a relationship.
Relationship, thought I had it, but I found out I was never part of the plan. The only crush I ever had crushed me in the face and left me alone to figure out what the hell I ever did to deserve being abandoned. I question myself. What did I do wrong? What can I do to make you happy? All I want to do is make you happy and to see your smile. That beautiful smile. It shines brighter then all the stars in the sky put together. That smile that I thought was once for me is for him. That guy, dude, dirty player, whatever the hell you would like to call him makes me sick. If you don't want to see me mad, you can't unless you leave him. I hope your happy because I'm not.
It's 10:34pm and I'm sitting in the middle of two cities. Music is banging through my headset and I'm listening to some electronic music as cars drive by. Tonight is colder than other nights and my sweat drips off my face and breaks into pieces on the concrete. I went out on a run, a run full of pain. I talked to her tonight. I was happy to see her again after the long weekend of so much chaos. It was my twenty-first birthday and my brother came up to visit and my friends bought me spiced rum for my birthday. I felt older, but still young at the same time. All of the fun came to an end when she met up with me. She looked so beautiful today with her hair off to the side. She looked so young and joyful. She always looked beautiful and that is one of the reasons why I liked her so much. I decided we needed to talk. It was on my mind for sometime to ask her out and I wanted to take her on a second date. The first time we went bowling and we ate at an Italian restaurant. I think we were both happy, well I don't know for a fact, but I was sure happy.
We met up and we talked for a bit before I asked her. I struggled a lot. It was hard to tell her that I had feelings for her and I was a little afraid. I should have been afraid. She didn't expect me to say that, which made it harder for her to tell me that she was seeing another man. Call him a man? I call him a guy who is trying to screw every girl he sees. I told her that I didn't like this guy since I met him on day one and she had this sad look on her face. I still care about her and I tell her that I will always be her friend. I wanted to be her friend and I wanted even more to be something more to her then just a friend. She tells me a bunch of reasons why she should pick me over this one douche, but still she picks him. Why? Questions get expand my skull and I think I'm erupt like a volcano that will spew burning, mad lava. She hugs me and comments on how tall I am. At that moment I don't want to let go because I know this hug will be the last. I feel farther from her than I've ever felt before and it sucks.
I walk her to a friend's place who lives in my dorm and I just can't wait to punch something, but I hold back and decide to go on this run. Some people are walking towards me on the bridge and I get up and run off to another place to be alone and think about what happened tonight. I sprint over to a quite mall parking ramp and as I reach the top I gasp for clean air. The city is dirty and the air dirtier. I stand there looking around at the city and even though it maybe a dirty city, I still like the sounds of the city. I can hear the traffic all around me and get lost looking up at the glowing moon. I wanted to take a picture of it, but I didn't have a camera on me. I told her too look up at the moon because I thought she might enjoy looking at it. Another thing I like about her is because she is different. She like to take photos and write articles. I guess you can say she kind of inspired me to write more. It was full moon and a bright one at that; as bright as her smile.
I don't know what I would do if that smile would get broken or shattered. I told her I would always be there for her if she ever would get hurt. I don't want to be right, I just want her to be happy. I couldn't stand looking at an upside-down smile. Frown is too disgusting of a word to use, I hate the word frown. It makes me sad thinking about it and realizing that it could happen to her. How can she pick him over me? I was told once that girls will always love the bad boys more than the good ones. I never believed them and I still won't. I will always have faith that she will come to realize that the "Dude" is a joke and the "Nice Guy" is what makes her happy.
I breath in the cold night air and I decide its time to head back to my room before my roommate starts worrying about me. My roommate, what would I do without a good friend. I begin to run back and I can feel the ache and pain in my feet. I don't care about the pain because its the last of my problems right now. The pain that hurts the most is that I lost to a player who just wants to get laid. You can't understand how much hate I have for this single dude. He's hurt one of my friends and plenty of other girls. I wish he would just move away. Far away, maybe as far as the country he came from. I know that won't happen and that I'll probably see him tomorrow.
I feel like his dancing around his house saying, "I can't believe that I tricked her to like me. I'm so glad that she chose me over him. I can't take anymore rejection." He's probably having a couple of drinks and banging some other random chick behind his girl's back. I can't stand him. Its serious when you delete a friend off Facebook, he's no friend of mine.
As I arrive back to school, I feeling the anger and disappointment that today has brought me. I decide to kick back with my roommate, punch a couple things, and have a beer. I know tomorrow will be different. A fantasy plays through my head, I'm working at my job and she comes running in and leaps into my arms and everything is back to the way I thought they were. That usually only happens in movies and fairy tales. I will try and fall asleep, but sleep will be nearly impossible with broken feet, a broken heart, and a broken mind.
Relationship, thought I had it, but I found out I was never part of the plan. The only crush I ever had crushed me in the face and left me alone to figure out what the hell I ever did to deserve being abandoned. I question myself. What did I do wrong? What can I do to make you happy? All I want to do is make you happy and to see your smile. That beautiful smile. It shines brighter then all the stars in the sky put together. That smile that I thought was once for me is for him. That guy, dude, dirty player, whatever the hell you would like to call him makes me sick. If you don't want to see me mad, you can't unless you leave him. I hope your happy because I'm not.
It's 10:34pm and I'm sitting in the middle of two cities. Music is banging through my headset and I'm listening to some electronic music as cars drive by. Tonight is colder than other nights and my sweat drips off my face and breaks into pieces on the concrete. I went out on a run, a run full of pain. I talked to her tonight. I was happy to see her again after the long weekend of so much chaos. It was my twenty-first birthday and my brother came up to visit and my friends bought me spiced rum for my birthday. I felt older, but still young at the same time. All of the fun came to an end when she met up with me. She looked so beautiful today with her hair off to the side. She looked so young and joyful. She always looked beautiful and that is one of the reasons why I liked her so much. I decided we needed to talk. It was on my mind for sometime to ask her out and I wanted to take her on a second date. The first time we went bowling and we ate at an Italian restaurant. I think we were both happy, well I don't know for a fact, but I was sure happy.
We met up and we talked for a bit before I asked her. I struggled a lot. It was hard to tell her that I had feelings for her and I was a little afraid. I should have been afraid. She didn't expect me to say that, which made it harder for her to tell me that she was seeing another man. Call him a man? I call him a guy who is trying to screw every girl he sees. I told her that I didn't like this guy since I met him on day one and she had this sad look on her face. I still care about her and I tell her that I will always be her friend. I wanted to be her friend and I wanted even more to be something more to her then just a friend. She tells me a bunch of reasons why she should pick me over this one douche, but still she picks him. Why? Questions get expand my skull and I think I'm erupt like a volcano that will spew burning, mad lava. She hugs me and comments on how tall I am. At that moment I don't want to let go because I know this hug will be the last. I feel farther from her than I've ever felt before and it sucks.
I walk her to a friend's place who lives in my dorm and I just can't wait to punch something, but I hold back and decide to go on this run. Some people are walking towards me on the bridge and I get up and run off to another place to be alone and think about what happened tonight. I sprint over to a quite mall parking ramp and as I reach the top I gasp for clean air. The city is dirty and the air dirtier. I stand there looking around at the city and even though it maybe a dirty city, I still like the sounds of the city. I can hear the traffic all around me and get lost looking up at the glowing moon. I wanted to take a picture of it, but I didn't have a camera on me. I told her too look up at the moon because I thought she might enjoy looking at it. Another thing I like about her is because she is different. She like to take photos and write articles. I guess you can say she kind of inspired me to write more. It was full moon and a bright one at that; as bright as her smile.
I don't know what I would do if that smile would get broken or shattered. I told her I would always be there for her if she ever would get hurt. I don't want to be right, I just want her to be happy. I couldn't stand looking at an upside-down smile. Frown is too disgusting of a word to use, I hate the word frown. It makes me sad thinking about it and realizing that it could happen to her. How can she pick him over me? I was told once that girls will always love the bad boys more than the good ones. I never believed them and I still won't. I will always have faith that she will come to realize that the "Dude" is a joke and the "Nice Guy" is what makes her happy.
I breath in the cold night air and I decide its time to head back to my room before my roommate starts worrying about me. My roommate, what would I do without a good friend. I begin to run back and I can feel the ache and pain in my feet. I don't care about the pain because its the last of my problems right now. The pain that hurts the most is that I lost to a player who just wants to get laid. You can't understand how much hate I have for this single dude. He's hurt one of my friends and plenty of other girls. I wish he would just move away. Far away, maybe as far as the country he came from. I know that won't happen and that I'll probably see him tomorrow.
I feel like his dancing around his house saying, "I can't believe that I tricked her to like me. I'm so glad that she chose me over him. I can't take anymore rejection." He's probably having a couple of drinks and banging some other random chick behind his girl's back. I can't stand him. Its serious when you delete a friend off Facebook, he's no friend of mine.
As I arrive back to school, I feeling the anger and disappointment that today has brought me. I decide to kick back with my roommate, punch a couple things, and have a beer. I know tomorrow will be different. A fantasy plays through my head, I'm working at my job and she comes running in and leaps into my arms and everything is back to the way I thought they were. That usually only happens in movies and fairy tales. I will try and fall asleep, but sleep will be nearly impossible with broken feet, a broken heart, and a broken mind.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Blog to Book
Recently, I have run into a massive, destruction of events. Events that I see that can't be fit into just an oridinary blog. I feel the need and personal desire to take what happens in my college life and fit these stories into a book that I will begin to write soon. This blog was never about getting lots of viewers and truth is it probably won't. I thought the main idea about a blog was telling people what they wanted to hear and make some money off of the viewers returning to your site everyday. No, this blog will never be about that, i thought it was, but I was wrong. This blog will be about me trying to get my feelings and problems out of my head and into something I care about. It was about becoming a better writer, not a millionare.
I will still blog, but you will notice a difference in my writing style. Sometimes there won't be humor in my writing and sometimes there will. My mood will switch lanes everyday because life isn't the same; events never happen the same way twice. The book I will write will still consist of adventures, encounters, and strange events because thats what my life is, a series of strange dealings with people, actions, and places. The only personal gain I wish to obtain is to remind myself of what things I did wrong in the past and show myself what works and what doesn't work. This isn't about my financial life or about me graduating with money in my pocket, its to tell myself and anyone who cares about life experiences.
This book will not be easy to write and I know that it won't take a week or two. It will probably tough and somedays I won't have that creative mind to write. Somedays I will look at he the computer screen and force myself not to punch it into a million pieces. I can't promise a daily post or steady amount of reading in one day. Somedays I might have 3 pages for you to read and others I'll hardily get out two sentences. A book about life shouldn't be finished in a couple months, it should last many years. A book on life shouldn't even have an ending because everyday is a new beginning. I won't announce to the world when I have a new post, if you care, you will read and if you don't, then you simply just won't.
The first couple of blog posts for me were to get my brain working again. I needed to start writting about something I cared about and wanted to tell you all. Its like putting gas in car, you need the gas to see discover new things. I needed to write to discover about myself more. Sometimes feelings never get poured out of one self. They are kept inside of you and they are trapped like a wild animal. If you unleash the animal all at once, things will get broken and go out of hand. I feel that when I write, I let my emotions pour out on a pad or screen and my mind feels relieved. Then you need to let someone know, even if you don't even know that person. You gotta let someone know. Humans do that you know, they need someone to care. Otherwise if no one cared, the world would not be so joyful and happy. Thats why sometimes the world isn't so joyful and happy, people are afraid to let someone care about them.
My book or should I say, "My Life Experiences" will come out when you least expect it. If you care, you will read. If you think that this is another scheme to get viewers, you will think that way. There is no way that I will influence you to not think that way. Everyone has a mind and they control it. We are all resposible and can do whatever we want, but sometimes are actions will lead to consequences. I'll let you know now that some of the book might get boring and dull, but sometimes your life becomes dull and boring, if you don't do anything about it. As for now I will let life hit me from all sides and take in the experiences, viewpoints, and information to help me understand life better. Drop in from time to time to see what I have written and go experience life in new ways too. I hope you all have taken something from this and hope to hear from you all soon.
J.Stark
I will still blog, but you will notice a difference in my writing style. Sometimes there won't be humor in my writing and sometimes there will. My mood will switch lanes everyday because life isn't the same; events never happen the same way twice. The book I will write will still consist of adventures, encounters, and strange events because thats what my life is, a series of strange dealings with people, actions, and places. The only personal gain I wish to obtain is to remind myself of what things I did wrong in the past and show myself what works and what doesn't work. This isn't about my financial life or about me graduating with money in my pocket, its to tell myself and anyone who cares about life experiences.
This book will not be easy to write and I know that it won't take a week or two. It will probably tough and somedays I won't have that creative mind to write. Somedays I will look at he the computer screen and force myself not to punch it into a million pieces. I can't promise a daily post or steady amount of reading in one day. Somedays I might have 3 pages for you to read and others I'll hardily get out two sentences. A book about life shouldn't be finished in a couple months, it should last many years. A book on life shouldn't even have an ending because everyday is a new beginning. I won't announce to the world when I have a new post, if you care, you will read and if you don't, then you simply just won't.
The first couple of blog posts for me were to get my brain working again. I needed to start writting about something I cared about and wanted to tell you all. Its like putting gas in car, you need the gas to see discover new things. I needed to write to discover about myself more. Sometimes feelings never get poured out of one self. They are kept inside of you and they are trapped like a wild animal. If you unleash the animal all at once, things will get broken and go out of hand. I feel that when I write, I let my emotions pour out on a pad or screen and my mind feels relieved. Then you need to let someone know, even if you don't even know that person. You gotta let someone know. Humans do that you know, they need someone to care. Otherwise if no one cared, the world would not be so joyful and happy. Thats why sometimes the world isn't so joyful and happy, people are afraid to let someone care about them.
My book or should I say, "My Life Experiences" will come out when you least expect it. If you care, you will read. If you think that this is another scheme to get viewers, you will think that way. There is no way that I will influence you to not think that way. Everyone has a mind and they control it. We are all resposible and can do whatever we want, but sometimes are actions will lead to consequences. I'll let you know now that some of the book might get boring and dull, but sometimes your life becomes dull and boring, if you don't do anything about it. As for now I will let life hit me from all sides and take in the experiences, viewpoints, and information to help me understand life better. Drop in from time to time to see what I have written and go experience life in new ways too. I hope you all have taken something from this and hope to hear from you all soon.
J.Stark
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Birthday Party All-Nighter!!!
Wow I'm totally exhausted from my birthday party. My brother came up to visit and I knew it meant just one thing, gaming! We played all sorts of games, league of legends, gears 3, minecraft and some random fps. It was a blast! We played from 1pm on Saturday to 8am on Sunday. It was a long time and I'm super burnt out.
My birthday was awesome, except the where we ate, the Snap Dragon. I dunno what they did to the food, but I felt like I was eating crap. My stomach didn't do so well afterwards. None the less it was fun night. We didn't drink any alcohol, only mt. dew for this buddy. I can't stop saying this, but it was a good birthday. I miss my brother now. He left at 5pm and was running a little late to pick up my mother from St.Cloud. Man I miss that kid, he is probably my best friend.
The biggest thing that sucks about getting older is looking back on your childhood and becoming more of an adult each day. I remember that my brother and I were not allowed to play video games during the week and if we wanted to play video games anyways, we would have to sneak downstairs and listen for people moving around upstairs. If we got caught and sometimes we did, we would lose our computers for a 2 weeks. It sucked. My brother said he was jumpy playing in my dorm room because the my door kept on moving and making noises. He thought someone would walk in on him, like mom and dad and he would get busted.
Great birthday and I got $100 dollars from my parents(which has yet to come in the mail). Ugh oh well I'll be patient for it. Not sure what I'll get for myself or if I should just save it. Not sure what I'm gonna do tonight. I might just caught up on some sleep or go party with some ppl or whatever, just not sure. There is so much food in my room right now from my birthday. I can't really eat it all by myself, so if you want to hangout I got some food we can eat up. I'm gonna chill out tonight because I'll have to do homework tomorrow, so until next time go party it up and chill out. See yah later!
My birthday was awesome, except the where we ate, the Snap Dragon. I dunno what they did to the food, but I felt like I was eating crap. My stomach didn't do so well afterwards. None the less it was fun night. We didn't drink any alcohol, only mt. dew for this buddy. I can't stop saying this, but it was a good birthday. I miss my brother now. He left at 5pm and was running a little late to pick up my mother from St.Cloud. Man I miss that kid, he is probably my best friend.
The biggest thing that sucks about getting older is looking back on your childhood and becoming more of an adult each day. I remember that my brother and I were not allowed to play video games during the week and if we wanted to play video games anyways, we would have to sneak downstairs and listen for people moving around upstairs. If we got caught and sometimes we did, we would lose our computers for a 2 weeks. It sucked. My brother said he was jumpy playing in my dorm room because the my door kept on moving and making noises. He thought someone would walk in on him, like mom and dad and he would get busted.
Great birthday and I got $100 dollars from my parents(which has yet to come in the mail). Ugh oh well I'll be patient for it. Not sure what I'll get for myself or if I should just save it. Not sure what I'm gonna do tonight. I might just caught up on some sleep or go party with some ppl or whatever, just not sure. There is so much food in my room right now from my birthday. I can't really eat it all by myself, so if you want to hangout I got some food we can eat up. I'm gonna chill out tonight because I'll have to do homework tomorrow, so until next time go party it up and chill out. See yah later!
Friday, October 7, 2011
21st Birthday!!!
Hey guys! I'm the BIG 21 NOW!!! To tell you the truth, I don't really feel a difference. Like I don't feel older and I haven't even drank yet. Weird huh?!? Well this yesterday morning was quite an adventure. Let me tell you about it.
So I get a call from my mother and she says,"Hey You! You need to make sure you renew your license since your going to be 21 tomorrow." So we chit chatted for a little bit more and then I went to the dmv 10:30am. So I got my $40 dollars from my bank account and found my bike locked up outside of my dorm hall. The bike has seen some better days and recently some of the mechanical stuff on the bike was loosing up. I decided to ride my bike anyways because its 25 blocks to the dmv. So I began my adventure, listening to some rap music and riding along.
I get to about 8 blocks and my bike starts to make some weird noise. I give it a little kick and it goes away, but thats not the end of it. I'm crossing some railroad tracks and suddenly my front tire gets jammed. Shoot! I fly over my handle bars and land on my back. I also bruised my leg pretty badly. Out of pure rage, I pick up my bike and toss it to the side by a fence. I had to continue on because I needed to renew my license by the end of the day, so I began to run it. 23 blocks and I was super tired and pissed. My legs was hurting intensely and my back was totally messed up. I got the the dmv and got my new license(well I have to wait like 2 weeks to get my license, but I got some yellow papers till then). I started walking back to campus when I decided I couldn't make it back in time for a meeting with my organization.
OH yeah! You don't know about my organization yet. Well I'm the President of the League of Roc. It's a competitive gaming group on campus and we just hangout and play video games. Ok we also host tournaments and events for the members and non-members on campus too, but its a really fun group and sometimes I spend more time playing games then homework, oh well back to the story.
So the meeting is going to start in 30mins and I decided to call up some people. No one answers so I decide to go with my last option, a friend that I pissed off 2 days ago. Luckily he is a great friend and he doesn't hold grudges like other people I know. I made it to the meeting on time and found out we have 3 new members. I'm glad that I made it back and I'm happy that I'm not going to spend my 21st birthday in the hospital, I'll doing fine.
In life we can't do things alone and when we try to, sometimes bad things happens to us. Luckily we all have our good friends that care about us, even though we might have pissed them off in the past. Well now I'm just hanging out with a good friend and we are playing some normal games on League of Legends. Yes good old LoL. Well it looks like he wants me to play another game with him, until next time go have some fun and party this weekend out for me. I'm kidding. Lol have a great Friday night and wish me a happy birthday today if you see me with my bro. Later.
So I get a call from my mother and she says,"Hey You! You need to make sure you renew your license since your going to be 21 tomorrow." So we chit chatted for a little bit more and then I went to the dmv 10:30am. So I got my $40 dollars from my bank account and found my bike locked up outside of my dorm hall. The bike has seen some better days and recently some of the mechanical stuff on the bike was loosing up. I decided to ride my bike anyways because its 25 blocks to the dmv. So I began my adventure, listening to some rap music and riding along.
I get to about 8 blocks and my bike starts to make some weird noise. I give it a little kick and it goes away, but thats not the end of it. I'm crossing some railroad tracks and suddenly my front tire gets jammed. Shoot! I fly over my handle bars and land on my back. I also bruised my leg pretty badly. Out of pure rage, I pick up my bike and toss it to the side by a fence. I had to continue on because I needed to renew my license by the end of the day, so I began to run it. 23 blocks and I was super tired and pissed. My legs was hurting intensely and my back was totally messed up. I got the the dmv and got my new license(well I have to wait like 2 weeks to get my license, but I got some yellow papers till then). I started walking back to campus when I decided I couldn't make it back in time for a meeting with my organization.
OH yeah! You don't know about my organization yet. Well I'm the President of the League of Roc. It's a competitive gaming group on campus and we just hangout and play video games. Ok we also host tournaments and events for the members and non-members on campus too, but its a really fun group and sometimes I spend more time playing games then homework, oh well back to the story.
So the meeting is going to start in 30mins and I decided to call up some people. No one answers so I decide to go with my last option, a friend that I pissed off 2 days ago. Luckily he is a great friend and he doesn't hold grudges like other people I know. I made it to the meeting on time and found out we have 3 new members. I'm glad that I made it back and I'm happy that I'm not going to spend my 21st birthday in the hospital, I'll doing fine.
In life we can't do things alone and when we try to, sometimes bad things happens to us. Luckily we all have our good friends that care about us, even though we might have pissed them off in the past. Well now I'm just hanging out with a good friend and we are playing some normal games on League of Legends. Yes good old LoL. Well it looks like he wants me to play another game with him, until next time go have some fun and party this weekend out for me. I'm kidding. Lol have a great Friday night and wish me a happy birthday today if you see me with my bro. Later.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Time to Chill
Today was the end of midterms for me at school. I stressed over one yesterday, but today's test went very well. It also helped that I didn't have to work at all today. Up till about 6:00pm, I was really stressed out and my brain felt like it was going to burst. Luckily I didn't let that happen because I like my brain the way it is. Oh pr0 Thursdays, again! Here are the rules to being pr0:
- You must be invited by both of us(includes my roommate and I).
- When invited you must wear a suit.
- You must keep pr0 Thursdays a secret, you can't tell anyone where we are going.
- You must be polite and respectful to the waitress. If you don't follow this, we will have to leave the restaurant and you won't be invited to supper again.
- What is discussed at the restaurant stays at the restaurant.
Any of these rules broken and you will be dealt with if you know what I mean. Well I don't mean we will knock you out and people will never see you again. What I mean is that you will probably won't get invited again. Today my roommate and I both ate at the our restaurant and it was relieving.
The atmosphere of this place is soothing and the music almost makes you day dream. The mind can really recharge at a place like that. The food is delicious and the service is so amazing. I like to make conversation with the employees. They are so high-class and interesting. College students are not like this. Some are rude, disrespectful, and prideful. Thats why its so hard to find people to join us for pr0 Thursdays.
The night should be peaceful, besides the online quiz I'm doing with a couple friends. I hope I get to hangout with you know who. If you don't read some of my past posts. We might watch a movie or go take pictures somewhere. She is so cool and shes different from all the other girls I've ever met.
I'm glad that Thursdays are my Fridays. I feel so burnt out and when I hit Thursdays I just come to a speeding stop. It feels good to go outside and just let the wind cool me off. October is such a great month and I can't believe that in 2 days I'll be 21. Brother is coming up and should be fun. This weekend I get 5 days off! It's our fall break for college and everyone is going home, but I'm just going to take this weekend and chill in my dorm room. Take time this weekend to relax and recharge.
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~Lily Tomlin
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Life as a Storm
Strange thing happened today. Lol I wasn't prepared again for a test and this time I don't think I'm gonna do so great. Don't you just hate it when you take a test and after the test, you go back and look up all the answers and find that you got some wrong. Yeah that pretty much happened to me today, except this time i think I might have failed my test. I was a little disappointed in myself. I was pissed.
After getting mad at myself I decided to go around and get attention. Stupid idea! Looking for attention when you have just received bad news about something usually gets messy and you exaggerate your problems. Why do we feel like we need someone to feel sorry for us? Why do we always rush to get attention or seek help? I guess we are only human.
Its like today on Facebook. If you haven't heard, one of the greatest men in technology history died today. Yes, Steve Jobs died from cancer at the age of 56. I knew something bad would happen on Facebook. Here are some of the quotes that I saw.
"RIP steve jobs - posted from a macbook pro from a faithful mac user"
"Poor steve.... Apple won't be anything without him !"
"Thank you Steve Jobs for so many "wow, that's really cool" moments. You changed the world by believing in your dreams."
The list goes on and on and on and on(about 3 web pages). We will all miss Steve Jobs, but why is it now that everyone talks about him? Was he not worth talking about or changing your status when he was alive? People have a bad habit about praising someone about their life after they are dead and gone. What will people remember me for when I'm dead and gone?
What have I done with my life lately? Did I create a line of technology devices? Nope. lol I wish. Today I remembered my past summer and the storms. I was working as a camp counselor at this camp in Williston, ND and when storms would hit the camp on the weekends, I would run to the top of a hill and watch them come in. Don't worry, I didn't get hit by lightning. I made sure there were plenty of taller trees around me. I remember just listening, quietly to the rumble and the wind blowing in the distance. I could see the rain fall from the sky and soon get closer and closer. I would sit on the that hill from time to time, not thinking about anything. Not worrying about lighting striking me, getting soaked by the rain, and life issues. Nature calmed my mind and brought me great peace when I needed it the most. A close friend took these photos. He really got me thinking about my life and what I wanted to do with it.
After getting mad at myself I decided to go around and get attention. Stupid idea! Looking for attention when you have just received bad news about something usually gets messy and you exaggerate your problems. Why do we feel like we need someone to feel sorry for us? Why do we always rush to get attention or seek help? I guess we are only human.
Its like today on Facebook. If you haven't heard, one of the greatest men in technology history died today. Yes, Steve Jobs died from cancer at the age of 56. I knew something bad would happen on Facebook. Here are some of the quotes that I saw.
"RIP steve jobs - posted from a macbook pro from a faithful mac user"
"Poor steve.... Apple won't be anything without him !"
"Thank you Steve Jobs for so many "wow, that's really cool" moments. You changed the world by believing in your dreams."
The list goes on and on and on and on(about 3 web pages). We will all miss Steve Jobs, but why is it now that everyone talks about him? Was he not worth talking about or changing your status when he was alive? People have a bad habit about praising someone about their life after they are dead and gone. What will people remember me for when I'm dead and gone?What have I done with my life lately? Did I create a line of technology devices? Nope. lol I wish. Today I remembered my past summer and the storms. I was working as a camp counselor at this camp in Williston, ND and when storms would hit the camp on the weekends, I would run to the top of a hill and watch them come in. Don't worry, I didn't get hit by lightning. I made sure there were plenty of taller trees around me. I remember just listening, quietly to the rumble and the wind blowing in the distance. I could see the rain fall from the sky and soon get closer and closer. I would sit on the that hill from time to time, not thinking about anything. Not worrying about lighting striking me, getting soaked by the rain, and life issues. Nature calmed my mind and brought me great peace when I needed it the most. A close friend took these photos. He really got me thinking about my life and what I wanted to do with it.
On one of the stormy nights, my friend and I were watching the storm and talking. He asked me if I liked it there in Williston. I told him that I had thoughts in the beginning of the summer to quit and leave, but I was glad that I didn't. We talked for awhile and we got on the subject of past lives. He asked me,"Why do you think you went through that past experience?" In the beginning of the summer I couldn't answer that question, but when he asked me it in July, I replied,"Experiences make us into the people that we are. Experiences make us stronger and we learn from our past mistakes. If everyone didn't go through different trials in life, we would all be living the same, boring life."
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| Photography by: Ryan Robbinson |
I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is like a storm. You will get terrified at first, but you know eventually the storm has to end. Life is full of trials and we will have to fight through them. I want to be recognized for the good things I do everyday, not for my past mistakes and struggles. I want people to see my life as a breathtaking view and not a gloomy and dark storm.
Living two Lives
Why do people feel like they need to be someone else? Why do we tear down others to make ourselves feel better of who we are? By doing this we are just stooping down to their level and acting like the ones who we don't like. I've done it and I know a lot of you have done it too. Recently I've been trying to get over the fact that some people are not decent and do what they want with people. I hate it how some guys only care about pleasuring themselves and then hurt women by denying their existence when they are done. Some guys are just like vicious animals. Uncivilized and looking out for only their selves. They don't care about the feelings they break or the lives of others they ruin.
I watched a movie today and I wish I didn't watch it. Its called the Girl Next Door, its a horror film that supposedly happened in real life. It scares me how some people can be so blind to their actions and have no awareness of what they are doing to someone. I recommend checking this movie out. You will be shocked
to what happens in this movie. I'm warning you if you get sick watching Child's Play, don't watch this movie. My roomate and I were just browsing netflix and found this movie on their. This will probably scare you or make you feel sick.
I can't believe how much pain and cruelty this girl goes through. She goes through a lot of pain and I can't believe that this actually happened to someone in the real world. Why are people cruel?
Why are people emotionless? Why do people think they are untouchable? I'll admit, sometimes I feel like I'm a superhero like Batman or Iron Man, but the fact is I'm just me; a college student trying to get a degree in graphic communications so I can start a family and support them. The next time you judge someone or gossip about somebody, ask yourself this, "Do I really want to the be the emotionless and drop down to the level of a villain? Do I want to be the Dark Knight who stands up for whats right or become the Joker who has no friends or identity?" The world will eat you alive if you live two lives. Be yourself and let those who live for worldly desires fall short of a true life. I'm tired, so its time for me to sleep now. Peace out.
I watched a movie today and I wish I didn't watch it. Its called the Girl Next Door, its a horror film that supposedly happened in real life. It scares me how some people can be so blind to their actions and have no awareness of what they are doing to someone. I recommend checking this movie out. You will be shocked
I can't believe how much pain and cruelty this girl goes through. She goes through a lot of pain and I can't believe that this actually happened to someone in the real world. Why are people cruel?
Why are people emotionless? Why do people think they are untouchable? I'll admit, sometimes I feel like I'm a superhero like Batman or Iron Man, but the fact is I'm just me; a college student trying to get a degree in graphic communications so I can start a family and support them. The next time you judge someone or gossip about somebody, ask yourself this, "Do I really want to the be the emotionless and drop down to the level of a villain? Do I want to be the Dark Knight who stands up for whats right or become the Joker who has no friends or identity?" The world will eat you alive if you live two lives. Be yourself and let those who live for worldly desires fall short of a true life. I'm tired, so its time for me to sleep now. Peace out.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Countdown to 21
Hey its me. I've only written for a little over a week now on my blog. I haven't really filled you in on who I am. Well let me give you a picture.
Well these are my siblings and I. I'm believe I'm 20 in this picture though I'm not 100% sure on that. I'm the one in the middle carrying everyone on my back. Yeah you know me, mister Iron Man. Well that's my beautiful and awesome sister on top. She is in college now and is super smart. Sometimes this makes it hard to please the parents with an A-. She is playing tennis for school and is doing well so far. My brother is over to the right. He's awesome, but still a young one. He is a junior in high school and is a mega athlete. He plays basketball, football, and track. He's coming up to see me on my 21st birthday. Can't wait to see him, its been 3 months since I've last seen him.
Pictures like this one make me think of the good old days. You know we those days that we wish would never stop, but at some point they do. I'm sure going to miss being 20. I've had plenty of days that I wish I could revisit. That would be a cool movie idea. A man has the abilities to revisit his past, but he doesn't know he can also change it. Hmm, I think I'll write up a script and film this next semester.
Yeah 21, I dunno what to think about that. Like I don't really think it will be awesome to get drunk. I really don't expect to drink that much in the first place. Maybe a wine from time to time at a restaurant with a special someone. Yeah that special someone. Come to think about it, I only have a couple years till I'm suppose to get married. Lol when I mean suppose to get married, I mean I'm comparing my life to my parents. I think they got married after they graduated from college. Oh well, can't really live the same life. Though sometimes you wish life was that easy, but then whats really the point to life.
The point is, I don't plan to quit having adventures when I hit 21. I plan on making my adventures through my last 2 years of college more interesting and hopefully inspiring to my readers. Well thats all for now, roommate should be getting back from work. I'll see you all later.
Pictures like this one make me think of the good old days. You know we those days that we wish would never stop, but at some point they do. I'm sure going to miss being 20. I've had plenty of days that I wish I could revisit. That would be a cool movie idea. A man has the abilities to revisit his past, but he doesn't know he can also change it. Hmm, I think I'll write up a script and film this next semester.
Yeah 21, I dunno what to think about that. Like I don't really think it will be awesome to get drunk. I really don't expect to drink that much in the first place. Maybe a wine from time to time at a restaurant with a special someone. Yeah that special someone. Come to think about it, I only have a couple years till I'm suppose to get married. Lol when I mean suppose to get married, I mean I'm comparing my life to my parents. I think they got married after they graduated from college. Oh well, can't really live the same life. Though sometimes you wish life was that easy, but then whats really the point to life.
The point is, I don't plan to quit having adventures when I hit 21. I plan on making my adventures through my last 2 years of college more interesting and hopefully inspiring to my readers. Well thats all for now, roommate should be getting back from work. I'll see you all later.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Great News!
Yep, working again from 12pm to 4pm. Thought the day was going to go downhill from here, but it actually got better. My little bro texted me some great news! 6 days from today, I will be the big 21! You know I'll probably go have a couple of drinks and hangout with some friends at the bars from time to time. So lil bro texted me this message, "I might be driving up to your college next weekend on Saturday and sleeping over night." I got super excited because I haven't seen him since July and I miss him. You know hes like my best friend and all. Second later I get this text, "Where do I sleep?" I'm just laughing because hes worried about sleeping on my birthday. BRO! We not going to sleep! Yeah so hes bring up his computer and we are just gonna hangout and play video games all night.
I forgot though that I'm suppose to go to the OB on Saturday. The Old Broadway is a bar if you didn't catch that. I'm suppose to go with a bunch of friends at school. I'll let them know that its going to have to be Sunday night. Hopefully they will understand. It should be really fun day. I'm getting older though. Big 21 like I said before. I've been running recently because I don't want to get both old and slow. Well I still have many years before me I guess. Ugh! 30 mins of work still left. It feels like I'll never get out of here. Shoot I also forgot I have a test this week in English 201. I haven't even taken a look at that book. Lol typical, lazy college student. Well there is a customer coming to my desk. Maybe next time I'll inform you where I work at and what I do, but for now I'll see you all later.
I forgot though that I'm suppose to go to the OB on Saturday. The Old Broadway is a bar if you didn't catch that. I'm suppose to go with a bunch of friends at school. I'll let them know that its going to have to be Sunday night. Hopefully they will understand. It should be really fun day. I'm getting older though. Big 21 like I said before. I've been running recently because I don't want to get both old and slow. Well I still have many years before me I guess. Ugh! 30 mins of work still left. It feels like I'll never get out of here. Shoot I also forgot I have a test this week in English 201. I haven't even taken a look at that book. Lol typical, lazy college student. Well there is a customer coming to my desk. Maybe next time I'll inform you where I work at and what I do, but for now I'll see you all later.
Day of Disappointment
So its pretty hard to top Friday night because it was so much fun. Yesterday was defiantly the worst. Lol So I had to work yesterday. I decided to watch a movie. The movie was called Courage Under Fire, starring Denzel Washington and Meg Ryan. Terrible movie, it was so slooow. I was so glad work was done by 4pm. I went to our schools cafeteria and ate some stuff that I don't want to mention to you because I would have a hard time typing up the rest of my story. Later that night was pretty fun, but still pointless. We had a LAN party in our dorm hall. My RA put this on so we could meet everyone on the floor and play video games all night long. We watched another movie called Thankskilling, which umm don't watch otherwise you will never use ur netflix again. Yesterday just sucked. I was expecting yesterday to be somewhat different.
I guess it was jealousy that took over my mind yesterday. On Friday, the girl that I took out on a date came and visited me at work on Saturday. At the end of the date, I asked her if you would like to be my girlfriend. She wouldn't reply, but kept on looking at me with her beautiful eyes and glowing smile. I just forgot about what I said and just cherish the whole night. What does it take to get a girl friend? Readers help me! I've tried almost everything.
I guess it was jealousy that took over my mind yesterday. On Friday, the girl that I took out on a date came and visited me at work on Saturday. At the end of the date, I asked her if you would like to be my girlfriend. She wouldn't reply, but kept on looking at me with her beautiful eyes and glowing smile. I just forgot about what I said and just cherish the whole night. What does it take to get a girl friend? Readers help me! I've tried almost everything.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I love Fridays
Fridays are the best day of the week. Its the day where you can just forget about assignments for the week and go out and have some fun. Well I did take that girl out bowling and we also went downtown and ate at a noodle shop. It was great. When you know someone is having a good time, you can see it through their smile and eyes. Her smile was perfect. I wish I could have took a picture of it.
We also went back to her place to hangout with her roomies. Everyone was out of it by the end of the night and I didn't even drink. Watching drunk people is pretty funny. Seeing them talk about stuff they think they know a lot about. It was quite amusing. We played a drinking game and I learned a lot about what college students do on the weekend. The game was fun and seemed really hard if I was drunk. I'm glad I wasn't otherwise I would have totally lost.
The night was not over, but this is where I'll end it. Friday; the best day of the week. Now I wait on the answer. It seems like this semester will be one of the greatest adventures I've ever experienced. I hope this adventure never ends or I fail to complete the journey that stands before me, but for now I will push forward into many more adventures to come.
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation.
Pearl S. Buck
We also went back to her place to hangout with her roomies. Everyone was out of it by the end of the night and I didn't even drink. Watching drunk people is pretty funny. Seeing them talk about stuff they think they know a lot about. It was quite amusing. We played a drinking game and I learned a lot about what college students do on the weekend. The game was fun and seemed really hard if I was drunk. I'm glad I wasn't otherwise I would have totally lost.
The night was not over, but this is where I'll end it. Friday; the best day of the week. Now I wait on the answer. It seems like this semester will be one of the greatest adventures I've ever experienced. I hope this adventure never ends or I fail to complete the journey that stands before me, but for now I will push forward into many more adventures to come.
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation.
Pearl S. Buck
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