Defiantly the hardest week ever. My roommate and I get back from eating some chicken wings and having a good time goofing around. We get to our dorm around 12:30am and I bump into my RA. He wants me to go to Hornbauchers with him to get some food. I'm really not that hungry and feel a little sick, but I go with him anyways to keep him company and talk to him about my drama recently. At the grocery store, he buys some junk food and we leave into the cold night. As we walk back, he questions me about my faith in God. He asks, "So what has God recently done for you that has made you happy?" I told him God has givin me good friends that care about me and family that loves me. I told him I couldn't do well in school without God's help. He thinks is total bull. My friend is an atheist, but he labels himself that because he doesn't believe in anything. He tells me of his past christian life and says that God didn't make him happy, he says he made himself happy. He says he has done everything for himself and that God had no part of it.
I told him I didn't have all the answers and that my life wasn't perfect either. I told him in God I can do all things. God gives me the power and purpose to live each day and be an example of a Christian. He gets mad and we decide to stop talking about it before someone says something that will piss off the other person. I told him this wasn't an argument, but a mature discussion. He leaves me in the dorm hallway and goes back to playing video games.
I'm online chatting with friends. I'm talking to a good friend that went to camp with me this summer and we catch up a bit. He is worried about me and doesn't recall the last time he has saw me at Cru. I told him I wanted to talk in person because I don't like typing a serious discussion. So we meet up at his dorm that is across campus and we go to his room to talk. This friend is also and RA and is very close friend of mine, he's like a brother to me. We get talking about our lives and what has recently been happening in them. I tell him about the girl that I liked and how I found out that I was being used. He tells me about his fun weekend retreat that he went to last weekend and this girl that wanted to be his gf. He told her no because the reason why he was at the retreat was for God and not to get into a relationship. He told her that he still wanted to be friends, I don't know if that worked out though.
I like talking to this friend. He understands my beliefs because we both believe in God and we have lots in common. I tell him that I miss summer camp and kind of want to go back. He tells me that he always thinks about camp and can't wait to return next summer. I tell him I'm not 100% about going back, but its defiantly an option. I've been walking with God for awhile now and recently I have left the support of my Christian friends. School, work, and relationships have been getting in the way of spending valuable time with my Christian friends and I miss them a lot. He is going to help me get back on track and get me going back to Cru Thursday nights at 8pm. I can't wait and will be looking forward to it.
Its hard to get people to believe in something you believe. Sometimes its impossible for you to do so and the person must choose to do it themselves. Its hard to think that God just watches people going through life making mistake after mistake. I think God lets us know that we need to turn to him, but most of us push him aside and do what we want to do in the moment. Usually we hurt afterwards and then we come crawling back to him. I'm just glad I believe in a God that forgives, loves, and cares for me. People may try to put me down, but that only builds me up in my faith in Jesus Christ, my God.
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