So the week has had its ups and downs, but the downs have defiantly conquered my ups. The flag has been planted and life's negativities have claimed it for the week. It wouldn't be all that bad, but today I'm not looking forward to having a meeting with my work place. The douche bag who stepped in and stole my girl, works at the same place I do. Could this day get any worst? My boss called me up and told me if there was going to be a problem between the two of us. I said I'll be fine as long as he doesn't say something like this, "Well I think Jordan can cover your shift, he has a lot a free time now." Stupid-ass remark would probably bring out the hulk in me and I wouldn't even care if I smashed his face in with my fist. It probably would make my week.
Moving on is the hardest part. My friends made me come to realize that maybe she wasn't the right girl for me in the first place. They think I deserve much better. They also said that if I continue to go after this girl, it would only feed the douce's ego and pleasure seeing me fall more. I told them that life isn't fair and they agreed, but they told me that maybe it was for the best. They told me that she wasn't my type and that I should get over her. One of my friends even sold me some aviators that I was looking to buy for a cheaper price. He bought them for $50 and was willing to sell them to me for $30 if I would agree to stop thinking about her. My friend said I couldn't take her back if I were to accept the aviators. I took the aviators and like them so much. They cover my eyes that are still pissed and frustrated. I still think about her though.
You always say you have moved on, but you actually never do. It maybe years before you forget about what happened and still the scar will still be there to remind you of what was and what could have been. To get my mind partially off of the situation I've been givin some opportunities this week, like buying my discounted aviators. I've also been e-mailed to star in a short film. The director is redirecting a scene from the movie "Swingers", starring Jon Faverue and Vince Vaughn. I'm really excited and have an audition tomorrow at 1:00pm. I hope my crushed feelings show through this romantic/comedy movie. It should be fun experience. Tonight is also pr0 night! I've mentioned in my blog that pr0 Thursdays is a day were some of my friends and I go out to eat and relax from our week of stress. We usually go to a place called Thai Orchid, but we might look around for another restaurant to eat at since we don't want to get tired of eating the same food each week. I have a lot of de stressing to do.
I hope I can get past this week and move on, but the memories I feel will make this week the hardest and maybe the next week after this one too. You don't know how it feels to find out that you were nothing to them at all, but just a friend. I feel used and I'm confused and distraught. I feel the emptiness inside of me and my heart was like warm summer sand at the beach. She put her face against mine and the moment lasted forever and it still does today. She picked up a shovel though and dug a whole in me and left. I rot and slowly patch this heart of mine.
I don't feel like going after another girl for awhile. I miss the smell of the shampoo that she uses in her hair and her white, beautiful smile. I gotta let her go. Otherwise I'll be like a city in an earthquake. I will crash and burn. A city takes years to build up. I can't let this unfortunate experience to tear me down. I must move on and find something to do other than worry about her. Time to do something different, unique, and out of the ordinary. It's time to live up life before it blows away like dust in the wind.
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