Woke up this morning feeling crappy like always. Got ready for the day and headed off to my Animation Class. When I got there, my professor was using my final project last semester to show a student what we can do in this department, that made me very happy. Plus she was cute and looked like she enjoyed what she saw. Haha I'm just kidding, but hey she was cute. Yeah animation class is not too bad, but very frustrating from time to time. I want to create stuff like Pixar and Dreamworks, but I'm still learning. Well after 3 hours of very productive work, I left the classroom to go back to my room.
As I walked across my campus, I happened to see in the distance the girl that I liked and my friend. They were holding hands sadly and I tried to keep my head down, hoping they would not notice me. They noticed me of course because like in these kind of situations they always do. They both said hi to me and I had to say hi back. You know its polite to say hi back, lol well inside me I felt like a frickin war was about to begin. I just don't get how relationships spark or what I'm trying to say is how people know they want to start a relationship? To make sure I wasn't just assuming, I sent a text to my organization leader to see if he knew anything about it. The organization leader is actually the older brother of the guy who was holding hands with my secret crush. He sent a text back saying that they were and I should talk to him about my feelings sometime.
A good day gone bad, hmmm nah I don't feel like talking. I knew I wanted to know if they were dating, but I just didn't want to hear "yes they are". I wanted to beat the crap out of something, but I decided to relax and chill. I feel like chasing skirts never gets me anywhere. What do I mean by "chasing skirts?" I mean that chasing girls always ends up breaking my heart or there's. Its a killer to find out that someone else has been selected to buy her food and take her out to nice places. I feel like I'm super negative right now and I probably am, I'm tired of getting second place or friend zoned.
I scroll through the list of girls that have done this to me:
(I'm giving nickname's to the girls to keep their identities secret.)
1. Curly Curls - She was heartbroken at the time I met her. I liked her and she liked me, I think because she just wanted to find someone who wouldn't break her heart. I decided to take things slow and not push things to quickly. At the time one of my friends went behind my back and screwed her. Lets just say we are not friends anymore.
2. 18 Cutie - She was nice to me. She would text me every night, which sometimes got annoying. She was cute and she was 18. She liked me for who I was. Only thing she forgot to tell me was that she liked to jump around a lot. She had her fun with me and visited from time to time, till she got married and had a kid.
3. Goodie Good - She was smart, nice and a Christian girl. We hungout with each other, I visited her at work sometimes and she would do the same. She was funny and awesome! She just wanted to be friends, but I was trying to go to fast. Kissed her and she just decided we needed to have time apart. She got an actual boyfriend and they recently broke up. Now she bugs me and I don't know what to say. Feelings have kind of past.
There are a couple of girls later, but nothing worth mentioning about. I'm like a mirror when someone throws a rock at it. I'm a shattered heart and confused mind. My feelings take hold of me and I just get burned. Have you seen the movie, Hitch? He gets other people into relationships, but he can't get into his own. I'm sort of like that. Maybe I'll get my break soon, maybe I just need to be Solo man for awhile.
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